Have you longed to be your true self? To drop the masks that you use to fit in? What would it take to make that happen? How would people react if you stopped pretending to be anyone but your true self, stopped pleasing, tip toeing, walking on eggshells, started saying no or hell yes to what feels most true for you?
Will things change? You bet your ass they will! Will people not like you? YES some people will not like you, but the right people will LOVE you. If not now, then when? It is 2020! We are in the middle of a pandemic, a divisive election year, wild fires, and heart breaking injustice and so much more. There has never been a time like this in your life! You feel it, I know you do! The fear of death is in the air. And the old systems are dying as they should. And with this you are likely feeling a calling deep inside to let old patterns die too! Let this time shake you to your bones and wake you up. We truly don't know how long we have here. Stop pretending to be anyone else but you. Because YOU are enough right now, with your glorious flaws, gorgeous eyes, and mooshie heart.
There are parts of us that we had to create to survive. Some people, particularly therapists, call them shadow parts or wounded parts. There are lots of names for aspects of ourselves that we created during our early development to help us cope and adapt. These parts of us are not bad. They had a very special job-to keep you safe. However, as we grow, get into relationships, careers, and have a life they can become less helpful and more harmful. When we are operating from our early wounds we can feel like we've been hijacked. We can feel really scared, jealous, insecure, critical, arrogant, defensive and so on. But there is usually this wiser part of us too shaking her head in the background like "oh girl this is not going to end well, do not send that text......and you sent it!" And then we feel the pain of those actions. So how do you stop these parts from taking over the bus? (Picture a bus, your wise higher self is the driver and in the back are aspects of you of all ages bouncing around; the 3 year old who wants to feel safe and held, the 6 year old that wants to play, the preteen that feels awkward and self conscious, the angry teenager that thinks the world just f-ing sucks, the young adult trying to be grown up, sexy and successful, the lonely mother, etc.)
First I will tell you how you don't do it! You don't do it be pushing those aspects of yourself deeper into hiding by shaming them, hating them or beating yourself when they jump in the drivers seat. Quite the opposite actually. You teach them that you are the driver, you have a map, and they are safely buckled up with tender love, that you hear and see them, and they are so valued. Any part that may have acted out is forgiven now. Nothing any aspect of you has done can not be forgiven. Yep even that thing you did when you were drunk that one time. You love yourself so radically that shame has no home in your body. And no one outside you can say anything to change this. Your true Self is that all loving and powerful. She is HOLY!
How do I know this you may wonder! Over the last 10 years, I have actively been integrating these parts of myself while also being spiritually guided to help others do the same. Once I learn and heal an aspect of myself a new client will show up with a similar aspect of themselves that needs love and compassion. It has become so common yet it still blows my mind how Spirit works to bring the right people together at just the right time. My clients are amazed that I understand them so deeply and can create a safe container for all of their feelings. It is because I have learned to do it for myself. I am also very fortunate to have met people at just the right time when I was ready to heal an aspect of myself. We are walking each other home after all. There is no race to the finish, and there is no hierarchy in healing, just the journey itself. We do not have to do it alone.
If you need extra support on your journey to greater self love and awareness I would be honored to work with you. You can reach me here! Being a guide on your journey to wholeness is a privilege.